If only i know.

Today due that i wan to save money and i waited to dawn to take first bus home.

Reason of rejecting his moneys cause i know we could spend it on coming days as we wanted to watch a movie. If i know he going use it to buy cigg to tong den i rather use the money go home and i could take rest and is more good for me...

If only i know~

Secondly i come all the ways home, dishes had done. Haiz another thing make me feel i was damm retard to hold on. In end money is nt save in a overall term.

But too bad money is his and i dont want control much as the harder i grap him the more pain i going get as he just like a catus.

If he could save the ten buck down i might could go see doc sooner... haiz.. sometime i wonder what he thinkin seriously~


All for nothing and great now i going work... haiz....seriously i need a break day and find somethin tat make me happy for at least one day.

I feeling sooo unwell and wanna die already.

I had no appetite at all after the argument bt i had to go out with teresa as she once awhile coming out and i force myself to eat as she wanted to. I felt like pukin ever since. But i do it when they guys bought drinks. As i dont wanna make anyone worries...But now i felt like puking again my gastric been so upset and i trying my best to spend as little and save as much.. And there i see ppl send on cigg. i dono wat to say. haiz.. wish god could guide me more to love this special someone.

Believe in him, rely on him and knowing he could reassure me. Also he say in letter he will nv did it again.

Today gt bits of arugment and i saw him wrote on fb thats girl irratings. and he say lucky u when he friends say my girl very ting hua. Haiz he say that wat make ppl think abt me? Haiz ur gf suck or no gd. Do u care hw ppl lk at me when u say such things? did i really bad ill treated u before? Think who there when u needed. When u sick and so. haiz... did i ever say such things like wa lucky u gt a nice bf or so in fb when everyone could see? U gt millions friends then me.. Next time u ask me how to face them? and if wan a gf ermm arh orh den find teenage girl la.. like celeb puppy love.. xiao he ard follow him suit him in all ways... at most ur friends gf at poly or so and don hab much worries like me...We gone tru soo much that i think and i trusted u that u will be more understandin then anyone and ever and don disappointed me after i holdin on this r/s soo long. But u just say somethin soo not understadin in fb, concern my feeling plz.

concern my feelings. i sensitive and emotional then anyone else. treat me with care k?

Guess gt to go to work.....haiz... if one day i collapse i really dono how or anyone will be there.haiz...