I dont wanna feel bad but i wanna feel loved.

Once again i back to somewhere with this thoughts of him....

Thinking about this relationship that have more hurt then love...

Sometimes i soo confuse by alll....

Sometimes my heart goes astray but i always try hard to make it right and stable it.

And him is the reason up till now, i still holding on for depsite often times i lost in this love that he say will make it right...

Is there a point of making everyone this suffiocating?

I just wanna claw to bed and get a slp and when i wake up..

I forget everything. wont rem this pain of him, wont rem how we try hard and too hard that is soo hard to live the next moment for each other...

Nthing to say... Nthing to think...

I just couldnt breath from works from relationship from everything..

I wanna run away but i always convince myself is times to move out from comfort zone.

Is time to change... But today here i am.... I run away from work....

Or maybe this is just a break?

Just wanna a little prayer and go to bed and believe gods have a path for me later...

I thanks-ful for that day when i breaking down and he there to hold me.

It make me lead back to this love.

From there on and i felt i just being distracted off and is nthing more then that.

I drew a line and my heart is still clear...

I went over to him next day to cheer him up frm studies...In exchange of his effort cox i knw he someone wanted give and take things...

I took my efforts despite i freaking tired..

Next day after that he told me he upset with his exams and here i am went all the way there to be there.

and there with him hearing him pushin me away... i freakin tired i walks miles for him and i spend much to be there. and all i get is pushin me away...

I knw i say something hurtful and i sorry for it.. But think back who is the one teaches me that when words driving someone crazy and need a talk back?

He always make this mistakes of saying things harshly for sooo many times.. and i just done it ytd and i dont mean it and i do apologise on spot that sec and not waited for few days den i do so like he always will..

Is there a point to speak to him?

Is there a point to explain to him?

When things he got inside his mind he never wanna forget abt it and he going stucks there forever...

So i only came here to speak everything out before this relationship drive me crazy...

Oh dear diary....